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You think that just because you left, it would change how I feel? Well, guess what? You're wrong. I can't help how I feel. I'm still in-
Jessica Sorensen
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Jessica Sorensen
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: June 2
Novelist
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Thinking
Still
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I cling to him like he's what keeps me thriving. Because he is.
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Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here. I take a deep breath, because what I'm about to say is very real and more honest than I've ever been. I don't want to be awayfrom you for that long.
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I think the people who go through more can end up stronger in the long run. They have insight in to what a lot of people don’t have and a better understanding—they can be more open-minded. - Ella's mother
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You really need stitches, she tells me.Or you're going to have a scar. I try not to laugh. Stitches aren't going to help. They fix skin, cuts, wounds, heal stuff on the outside. Everything broken with me is on the inside. I can handle scars, especially one's on the outside.
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That okay. I'll go find somewhere else to sleep. Her fingers wrap around my arm. You don't have to go anywhere. I feel safe with you.
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I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she’s drunk, she has a hard time saying it. “Where do you want me to take you?” She drops her head back against my chest. “You can just keep carrying me. It’s very relaxing.
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Isn't everyone hiding something?
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No, but I've never been one for wise ideas, he says. I believe in irrational, fleeting decisions that keep life interesting. And life needs to be interesting because we've got only one of them to live.
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Kayden: Yeah, but you're a girl. Me: Oh, I forgot for a sec. Thanx for reminding me. Kayden: I haven't forgotten at all. In fact, it's all I think about all the time. Me: That I'm a girl?? Kayden: That ur a girl I very badly want to touch right now
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Stay here, baby he whispers, like he can read my thoughts. Trust me, okay? Don't run
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I love you, Ella May and nothing will ever change that. You can push me away -run away – and I will still love you.
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But sometimes stuff happens and we find ourselves lost, and suddenly we're standing in a place we don't recognize and can't remember walking-or falling-there, and we're unsure how to get back or if we even want to.
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I won't let that night ruin you forever. But it did, it broke me into a million pieces and blew them away in the wind, like crumbled leaves.
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He knows what I'm about to say--he always does. He is my best friend, my soul mate. In a perfect world, full of roses and sunshine we'd be together, but this is full of broken.
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See, the same old Ella still lives. He grins... She just needed a little push out.... No, she doesn't. She's gone forever. Try all you want, but I'm bringing her back.
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Even though I knew she wasn't going to jump, seeing her standing on the ledge made me realize that I want and need her in my life forever. She challenges me, pushes me, and pisses me off, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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