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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Open
Public
Encounter
Businesses
Encounters
Mouth
Mouths
Drug
General
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
Jerry Seinfeld
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
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