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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Parking
Bathroom
Park
Parks
Illegal
Okay
Space
Stall
Handicapped
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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
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Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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