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I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Bookshelf
Crass
Bookshelves
Office
Nice
House
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
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A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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