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When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Persons
Person
Children
Etcetera
Years
Maturity
Like
Measure
Industry
Child
Business
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
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Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry Seinfeld
That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
Jerry Seinfeld
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Jerry Seinfeld