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The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Outfits
Phony
Superman
Dealt
Sets
Scripts
Looking
Padded
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
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Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
Jerry Seinfeld
