Quote

See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Reservations
Holding
Anybody
Hold
Part
Take
Important
Really
Reservation

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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Let's face it, the human body is like a condominium apartment. The thing that keeps you really enjoying it is the maintenance. There's a tremendous amount of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly work that has to be done. From showering to open heart surgery, we're always doing something to ourselves. If your body was a used car, you wouldn't buy it.
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I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
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The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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I am speechless: I have no speech
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I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
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I love advertising because I love lying.
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You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
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