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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Toys
Miss
Kill
Missing
Boys
Days
Kids
Made
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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