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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Thing
Make
World
People
Whine
Downside
Fame
Sick
Greatest

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
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Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
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I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
Jerry Seinfeld
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When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
Jerry Seinfeld
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Jerry Seinfeld
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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Jerry Seinfeld
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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
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The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld