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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Make
World
Whine
People
Downside
Fame
Sick
Greatest
Thing
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
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The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
Jerry Seinfeld
There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
But I don't want to be a pirate!
Jerry Seinfeld
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry Seinfeld
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
