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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Downside
Fame
Sick
Greatest
Thing
Make
World
People
Whine
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
Jerry Seinfeld
The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
Jerry Seinfeld
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
Jerry Seinfeld
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
Jerry Seinfeld
Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
Jerry Seinfeld
I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
Jerry Seinfeld
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Jerry Seinfeld
Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.
Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Jerry Seinfeld
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
Jerry Seinfeld
Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
Jerry Seinfeld
The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
Jerry Seinfeld