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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Women
Find
Bumbling
Fatherhood
Fathers
Cute
Attractive
Father
Makes
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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Let's face it, the human body is like a condominium apartment. The thing that keeps you really enjoying it is the maintenance. There's a tremendous amount of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly work that has to be done. From showering to open heart surgery, we're always doing something to ourselves. If your body was a used car, you wouldn't buy it.
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
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The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Jerry Seinfeld
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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