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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Running
Hats
Back
Quit
Trying
Quitting
Going
Forth
Memory
Memories
Scout
Stop
Cubs
Actually
Bus
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
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Men want to make women happy.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
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I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Jerry Seinfeld
