Quote

Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Stop
Cubs
Actually
Bus
Running
Hats
Back
Quit
Trying
Quitting
Going
Forth
Memory
Memories
Scout

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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
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