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When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Options
Fantasy
Growing
Reading
Men
Spiderman
Batman
Superman
Fantasies
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
Jerry Seinfeld
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry Seinfeld
And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
Jerry Seinfeld
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?
Jerry Seinfeld
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
Jerry Seinfeld
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men want to make women happy.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
Jerry Seinfeld
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Jerry Seinfeld
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Jerry Seinfeld
