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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Interested
Normal
Funny
Engage
Kind
Whereas
Like
Curious
People
Weird
Meet
Anybody

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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
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Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind of Houdini torture tank of doom. How do you breathe in there? It looks like if you put your hand over the change slot, you could suffocate him in thirty seconds.
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
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Why would anybody want a friend?
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
Jerry Seinfeld