Quote

Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Ends
Breath
Think
Breaths
Thinking
Throw
Life
Truly
Hair
Stop
Strapped
Hope
Messed
Didn
Ride

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the time, they want to graduate. My dog would sit there all day, he would watch me walk by, he would think to himself, I could do that! He's not that good.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
Jerry Seinfeld