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Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Thought
Studios
Done
Completely
Going
Internet
Something
Fun
Would
Bits
Quite
Crackle
Space
Unformed
Place
Networks
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
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Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
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I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
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Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
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The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
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