Quote

I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Tell
Hanging
Like
Staying
People
Chinese
Sticks
Aren
Comedy
Chop
Seen
Fork
Funny
Forks

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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I am speechless: I have no speech
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.
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The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
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Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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