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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Torture
Blessing
Comfortable
Find
Life
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
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Men want to make women happy.
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To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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