Quote

Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Sell
Sells
Burger
Ultimate
Mcdonald
Goal
Burgers
Doe
Voluntarily
Every
Cows
Count
Surrender

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Let's face it, the human body is like a condominium apartment. The thing that keeps you really enjoying it is the maintenance. There's a tremendous amount of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly work that has to be done. From showering to open heart surgery, we're always doing something to ourselves. If your body was a used car, you wouldn't buy it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
Jerry Seinfeld