Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
Jerry Seinfeld
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Sex
Ultimate
Laughing
Existence
Hard
Really
Diversions
Like
Diversion
Laugh
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
But I don't want to be a pirate!
Jerry Seinfeld
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
Jerry Seinfeld
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
Jerry Seinfeld
Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.
Jerry Seinfeld
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
Jerry Seinfeld
What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
Jerry Seinfeld
You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld
Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
Jerry Seinfeld
The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
Jerry Seinfeld
People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Jerry Seinfeld
I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
Jerry Seinfeld
Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry Seinfeld
I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
I love advertising because I love lying.
Jerry Seinfeld
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry Seinfeld