Quote

The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Thinking
Feelings
Married
Received
Someone
Deal
Stick
Women
Pieces
Sticks
Anything
Fight
Careful
Best
Deals
Piece
Ever
Wife
Figure
Regretted
Really
Head
Figures
Sympathetic
Think
Fighting
Advice
Studied

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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
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When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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