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Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Everything
Going
Nightclub
Nightclubs
Lifelong
Comic
Handle
Ready
Whatever
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
Jerry Seinfeld
So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
Jerry Seinfeld
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
Jerry Seinfeld
I am speechless: I have no speech
Jerry Seinfeld
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
Jerry Seinfeld
Economy is essential to all good art.
Jerry Seinfeld
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'
Jerry Seinfeld