Quote

I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Watching
Problem
Program
News
Idiots
Along
Strip
Television
Programs
Runs
Read
Idiot
Funny
Bottom
Running

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
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Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
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So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Festivus for the Restivus!
Jerry Seinfeld
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On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'
Jerry Seinfeld