Quote

Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Funny
Car
Parking
Night
York
Spaces
Except
Sat
Around
City
Chairs
Way
Cities
Cars
Like
Everybody
Humorous
Hours
Driving
Space
Musical

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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
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If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
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Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
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Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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