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Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
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Cities
Cars
Everybody
Humorous
Hours
Driving
Space
Musical
Funny
Car
Parking
Night
York
Spaces
Around
Except
Sat
Way
City
Chairs
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
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That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
Jerry Seinfeld
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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Men want to make women happy.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
Jerry Seinfeld
