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Men want to make women happy.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Make
Men
Happy
Women
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
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A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
Jerry Seinfeld
Economy is essential to all good art.
Jerry Seinfeld
But I don't want to be a pirate!
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
Jerry Seinfeld
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
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I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
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Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Jerry Seinfeld
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry Seinfeld
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Jerry Seinfeld
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
Jerry Seinfeld
