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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Tend
Inspirational
Everything
Nothing
Hard
Something
Drop
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
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I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff.
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
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