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I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Meetings
Israel
Son
Look
Looks
Love
Like
Israeli
People
Meeting
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Success is the enemy of comedy.
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
Jerry Seinfeld
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
Jerry Seinfeld
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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