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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
People
Virtually
Twitter
Everyone
Nothing
Good
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
Jerry Seinfeld
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
Jerry Seinfeld
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
Jerry Seinfeld
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Jerry Seinfeld
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why would anybody want a friend?
Jerry Seinfeld
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Jerry Seinfeld
Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
Jerry Seinfeld
I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
Jerry Seinfeld
I am speechless: I have no speech
Jerry Seinfeld
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
Jerry Seinfeld
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
Jerry Seinfeld
When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
Jerry Seinfeld
