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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Good
People
Virtually
Twitter
Everyone
Nothing
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Jerry Seinfeld
The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
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The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
Jerry Seinfeld
A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
Jerry Seinfeld
The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
Jerry Seinfeld
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld
