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I love advertising because I love lying.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Advertising
Lying
Love
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
Jerry Seinfeld
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
Jerry Seinfeld
Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
Jerry Seinfeld
Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Jerry Seinfeld
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Jerry Seinfeld
I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
Jerry Seinfeld
So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
Jerry Seinfeld
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld
You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
Jerry Seinfeld
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Jerry Seinfeld
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
Jerry Seinfeld
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
