Quote

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Remarks
Strangers
Sarcastic
Stranger
Gonna
Movie
Make

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld