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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Observations
Shallow
Fairly
Observation
Obvious
Making
Life

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
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The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Jerry Seinfeld
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry Seinfeld
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So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Festivus for the Restivus!
Jerry Seinfeld
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld