Quote

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Doesn
Island
Light
Islands
Matter
Swim
Trying
Red
Cameras
Matters
Goes
Whether
Surf

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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
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I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
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The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
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