Quote

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Light
Islands
Matter
Swim
Trying
Red
Cameras
Matters
Goes
Whether
Surf
Doesn
Island

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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
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I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people.
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Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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