Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Balance
Head
Success
Keep
Advice
Failure
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
Jerry Seinfeld
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
Jerry Seinfeld
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry Seinfeld
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
Jerry Seinfeld
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why would anybody want a friend?
Jerry Seinfeld
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Jerry Seinfeld
They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind of Houdini torture tank of doom. How do you breathe in there? It looks like if you put your hand over the change slot, you could suffocate him in thirty seconds.
Jerry Seinfeld
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
Jerry Seinfeld
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
