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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Shower
Showers
Date
Wine
Love
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Economy is essential to all good art.
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I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
Jerry Seinfeld
