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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Men
Like
Doctors
Models
Knowledge
Someone
Women
Body
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
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I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
Jerry Seinfeld
A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
Jerry Seinfeld
