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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Coffee
Even
Something
Genius
Really
Culture
Like
Place
Need
Feel
Feels
Geniuses
Needs
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
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I am speechless: I have no speech
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Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
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Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
Jerry Seinfeld
