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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Peak
Seat
Seats
Beer
Fans
Game
Games
Nothing
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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
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Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
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I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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