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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Compared
Smart
Wise
Easy
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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Let's face it, the human body is like a condominium apartment. The thing that keeps you really enjoying it is the maintenance. There's a tremendous amount of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly work that has to be done. From showering to open heart surgery, we're always doing something to ourselves. If your body was a used car, you wouldn't buy it.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
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To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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