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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Easy
Compared
Smart
Wise
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
Jerry Seinfeld
Festivus for the Restivus!
Jerry Seinfeld
I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
Jerry Seinfeld
Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry Seinfeld
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
Jerry Seinfeld
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
Jerry Seinfeld
Success is the enemy of comedy.
Jerry Seinfeld
