Quote

Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Heavy
Hour
Sex
Hours
Understand
Like
Meaningless
Dinner

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love advertising because I love lying.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.
Jerry Seinfeld