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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Freedom
Funny
Women
Littles
Underwear
Little
Epic
Thing
Birthday
Men
Bits
Support
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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Success is the enemy of comedy.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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