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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Whenever
Responsible
Wants
Happens
Something
Always
Witty
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
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Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
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That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
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I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
Jerry Seinfeld
