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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Done
Something
Make
Love
Coffee
Somehow
Gets
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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