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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Littles
Solve
Little
Shapes
Great
Problems
Solves
Good
Sleep
Depressed
Stuff
Delightful
Night
Cups
Didn
Coffee
Problem
Shape
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'
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I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'
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Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
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Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
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Success is the enemy of comedy.
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