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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Good
Sleep
Depressed
Stuff
Delightful
Night
Cups
Didn
Coffee
Problem
Shape
Littles
Solve
Little
Shapes
Great
Problems
Solves
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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Success is the enemy of comedy.
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Why would anybody want a friend?
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
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When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
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Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
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I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
Jerry Seinfeld
