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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Spells
Cents
Fewer
Twenty
Lite
Twenties
Hilarious
Letters
Cent
Light
Spell
Way
Introducing
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
Jerry Seinfeld
I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
Jerry Seinfeld
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
Jerry Seinfeld
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
Jerry Seinfeld
I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
Jerry Seinfeld
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Jerry Seinfeld
You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
Jerry Seinfeld
And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
Jerry Seinfeld
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
Jerry Seinfeld
The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
Jerry Seinfeld
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Jerry Seinfeld
I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'
Jerry Seinfeld
